Thursday was Chicago vivid alive
I was 19 in braids, came by train
had never seen a city.
Thursday always was my lucky day.
The parallelism of the “Thursday was/ -Friday” schema is appealing – it’s a powerful use of contrast. At the same time, I’m not sure it takes the poem where I want it to go. The general to specific of “Thursday is/ -I” is nice, but seems weak to me. I’ll try a short form now, see what that suggests to me. I still need a theme for the poem, a skeleton of meaning to hang the words on, and I haven’t found it yet. Chicago vivid alive sounds good to me – I need to go back to my anthologies, because the phrase sounds familiar and I think I may echoing some other poem I’ve read.